Hodge Podge

A random assortment of links and thoughts...

• Uganda: Human rights FAIL. I don't understand how such a law can be passed in 2009.

• DC: Civil rights WIN!

• How can you have sex so noisy that it is legally classified as anti-social behavior?! No, seriously, how? I want tips. Also, I find it odd that only the woman is being sentenced, when the neighbors comments refer to both of them.

Items found on my last-minute holiday shopping internet search:

• I really wanted to get these measuring cups for my sister for Christmas, but they are sold out everywhere. WTF?
• This diary is meant for people like me--people who can't keep diaries. Case in point: this blog.
• Would I rather be cute & useful or gorgeous & eco-friendly? Do I have to choose?
• Ridiculous.

OOAK

I was looking at Regretsy, like I do, when I came upon this Etsy shop. The first product I saw was... well, not pretty. It only got worse from there. My main thought about these items was, "This baby/parrot/mermaid looks...weird." I then noticed that many of the products said "OOAK" before the title or somewhere in the description and thought, "Ohhh, these are all sculptures of creatures with a rare genetic disorder called OOAK. An eye disorder. Or something. Alright, that's a little weird, but I respect this woman's quest to publicize and/or normalize this disease through art. That's actually kind of sweet."

And then I Googled "OOAK." It stands for "One Of A Kind."

Turns out this woman is just a terrible sculptor.*



On a related note: what the EFF is this (NSFW)???

*NOTE: She is a much better sculptor than I could ever be. Also, she is working with clay, which I imagine is hard to smooth into adorable wrinkly baby faces. But still. STILL! And what's with the hybrids?! They're like PSAs against genetic splicing. Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean that. (I am a terrible human being.)

This sentence made me smile today...

"I know a guy in Michigan—father, Detroit Lions fan, handy with tools—who is beside himself when Jennifer Weiner publishes a new book."

Animal sex!

MSNBC.com recently posted an article about whether non-humans find sex pleasurable. I find it interesting/funny that they use the term "hook-up" more than once to describe mating. I personally can't see why animals would not get pleasure from sex, and that's basically what the scientists in the article say, too.

Here's my question: why is it big news that other animals "likely have orgasms"? Are they distinguishing between orgasm and ejaculation? (Orgasm involves pleasurable feelings, but ejaculation is just a bodily function?) Or maybe they're saying that females in other species have orgasms! Now THAT would be something to blog about. (Ooh, wouldn't that be a great song parody? "Let's Give 'Em Something to Blog About")

Hook-ups in the wild: Do animals enjoy sex? [MSNBC]

Pop art at its best!

Mari Kasurinen modifies My Little Pony toys to look like iconic movie characters. I want one so very badly. [The Guardian, via Jezebel]

Excuse me, I do believe you have my hat.

This sounds like so much fun...

The Hat Game is a modern version of the children's game tag, only with a bowler hat. The game was created by Simon Games and is currently being played at the South by South West Interactive Festival in Austin.

The game revolves around a GPS-equipped bowler hat which people can follow in real-time on a Google Map. If by using the map you can track down the hat wearer you need to say to them 'Excuse me, I do believe you have my hat!'. They then need to pass the hat onto you.

The person who wears the hat the longest each day wins a prize. Of these, the one who has it the longest over the weekend of SXSW Interactive wins the big prize. [googlemapsmania]

Awesome. You can find the game at The Umbrella Group.

Bizarre & Tragic

How sad... Natasha Richardson has died. Apparently, she fell while taking a skiing lesson on a beginners' slope. She bumped her head, thought she was fine, but then there was some brain swelling... and now she's gone.

I can't fathom how shocked her family must be. She probably laughed about falling on the beginners' slope... Just reminds you that seemingly insignificant injuries can kill people. One of my mom's dearest friends and mentors from medical school recently died because a blister on his foot got infected. A blister! And then he got MRSA (Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus), and it killed him.

I don't know what lesson there is in all of this. I could advise my friends and family to take care of themselves, but really, these things happen. I guess it's one more reminder to live while you're alive.

Natasha Richardson dies aged 45 [BBC News]

Richardson was a true daughter of the theater [MSNBC]

Pulaski Squared

For you non-Chicagoans (and non-Polish people), yesterday was Casimir Pulaski Day. What, you might ask, is Casimir Pulaski Day?

I have two answers for you. It is:

1. A song by Sufjan Stevens from the album Illinois.
2. A holiday celebrating Casimir Pulaski, a Polish immigrant who helped the Americans defeat the British during the Revolutionary War.

Chicago has the largest Polish population outside of Poland, so public schools were off yesterday. Hurray, Poland!

ALSO, today is Square Root Day! Hurray, math nerds!

New Title!

I dunno... I just like it. Less creepy than the previous title, but only slightly so. Just as it should be.

Why the title?

Dear readers (all four of you):

I'm sure that at some point or other you have wondered where the title of this blog came from. Probably, the idea of a face-as-seat has made you uncomfortable. Well, wonder and squirm no longer! Here is the tale of the seat-face bandit.

I was riding my bike down Halsted one night last September. I stopped at a red light. The street was eerily quiet. Suddenly, I heard a gruff voice out of the darkness: "I wish that seat was my face." The light turned green. I pedaled away furiously, skeeved and amused.

And that, friends, is my story. OK, it's not much of a story. So why title my blog after it? Because it is the funniest thing that has happened to me since I moved here to Chicago.

Fondly,
Mary Cait

Ankle update...

I can walk fine, but it still hurts to point my toe.

My ballet career is ruined. RUINED!

Guaranteed to knock you off that high horse!

MSNBC seems hell bent on making me feel like a failure at age 23...

First, they gush about the 10-year-old music prodigy who "was opening for bands like Tony! Toni! Tone!, superstar Keyshia Cole, The Ohio Players and more" at the age of 9, and then "at 10, she was playing the Apollo in New York." She plays the piano, bass, drums and lead guitar, all, even though she "is just now learning to read music." She also "self-published a book of her own poetry." Apparently, this child already has a voice as powerful as a middle-aged motown diva's.

Then, they profile a 10-year-old college sophomore who is not only a genius (obviously), but also seems like a really nice kid, from the quotes in the article. He says, “There’s 6.5 billion people on this earth, and every one is smart in his or her own way.” How adorable is that? AND he used both gender pronouns. What a cutie.

And the icing on the "self-compare and despair" cake is the 19-year-old college professor. The writer of this article takes particular delight in the fact that this young woman can't legally drink with her colleagues. Oh, and of course, she plays the clarinet at a professional level. She's been playing with orchestras since she was 11, and she has played with Lang Lang and Smash Mouth. Of course.

To be fair, they do give props to the AARP set, too. There's the
man who graduated high school at the age of 90, and the 73-year-old college basketball player. So there's still hope for the rest of us... kinda.

Amazing.

Vagina-Kidney!

Just so you know... a woman recently donated a kidney to her niece, and the doctors removed it through her vagina. Yeah. Whoa.

Donor kidney removed via vagina [BBC Health]
Vaginal Innard Course [Slate]

Ouchies.

Well, I feel silly.

This morning, I stepped off a curb and directly onto the side of my foot. Yow. After sitting on the curb for a bit and waving away the kind inquiries of passers by--seriously, people are so nice here!--I limped back to my office. Man, it's great working around a bunch of doctors and nurses! Lil, the nurse, wrapped my ankle for me, and even re-wrapped it later when I had to change the ice. Plus, all my co-workers were really concerned, which was nice.

So now I'm laying on the couch with my foot up, watchin' Colbert. I was supposed to meet with Lisa for sketchiness tonight, but my dad told me I had to RICE: Rest, Ice, Compress, and Elevate. Sorry, Lisa! Boh!

I'm gonna go do the RICE thing.

It's Friday!

Yay!

This message brought to you by the Coalition to Make Mary Cait Seem Like Less of a Grumpster on Her Blog.

How I wasted an hour at work...

I was reading blogs at work--you know, like I do--and I came across this somewhat offensive, certainly odd, article (via Pandagon, via my friend Yvon's "Shared Items" on Google Reader). After reading the comments, I felt the need to throw in my two cents (or, as it turned out, four numbered items).

I'm a little proud of what I wrote, so I've copied it below. It's probably more entertaining if you read the original article by Jules Crittenden first.

Several things…

1) The morality of neutrality is a moot point if you’re trying to argue that Sweden was not really neutral. Or were you trying to say that there’s no such thing as neutrality, just cowardice? In that case, why does it matter which country Jessica Alba said? Perhaps you’re trying to insinuate that Alba supports Nazis with her “ball bearings”? I’m just not quite sure what you’re going for here.

2) According to Mary Stella:

“Obviously, some are trying facts, Truth, and history; to trump, liberal feelings, their exceptionalism or entitlement to be always right without ever bothering to read a historical book, considering at times failing to finish highschool.”

Questionable punctuation, spelling, and syntax aside, I find the argument that either liberals or conservatives are uneducated or ignorant to be silly. There are very intelligent people on each side. There are high school dropouts in the ranks of both Republicans and Democrats. To anyone trying to make a political or social argument: “You’re stupid!” is not a strong rebuttal. Therefore, I would like to apologize if I sounded snide when mentioning punctuation, spelling, and syntax. I’m sure Mary was just in a hurry.

3) I fail to see how Alba’s possible blunder in saying “Sweden” instead of “Switzerland” has any bearing on whether Bill O’Reilly is an “a-hole.” He IS an a-hole. Regardless of whether you agree with his views, he’s extremely rude to the guests on his show. Also, let’s not forget the “F**k it, we’ll do it live!” ridiculousness.

4) You say: “Girl should stick to doing what she does best.” Really? You don’t like smart girls? But then you say: “Hot and smart like that … what a package.” Huh. I guess only liberal women should keep their mouths shut and look pretty. I’m sure you know this already, but… that’s just not going to happen.

Pedantically (but with good intentions),
MC

I realized there at the end how condescending the whole thing must sound, but I thought, "Aw, screw it. I'll just add a self-deprecating sign-off line to make it all better."

READER POLL: Does a self-deprecating sign-off make a pedantic commenter seem like less of an a-hole?

I fully expect both my readers to reply.

Really, guys?

Frustrating experience: At rehearsal last night, I was the only girl there. OK, that's fine with me; I'm used to it.

Things started to get weird during the montage. My scene partners kept making me their mom. I don't mind playing a mom every once in a while, but it felt like every other scene, no matter how I initiated, the other person would come back with, "But MOM..."

I thought it was weird, but not horrible. I didn't really like playing the mom all the time, but I thought maybe it was some sort of coincidence, or maybe a mind-burp on the part of my scene partners. Still feelin' OK. THEN...

We went to practice the new form we're creating, in which each player plays one and only one character the whole time. My scenes were about a romantic relationship between two people imprisoned in the back of a Chinese restaurant. Fine. The second scene, my cohort initiates with something like, "Look, I'm sorry, I hadn't had sex in a long time." OK, I'll go with it. I had already introduced a flirtatious nature to the relationship, and he was just taking it to the next level. Besides, what else are two people stuck in the back of a Chinese restaurant going to do? I won't say I'm not complicit in the sexualization of that scene. I do believe I made some sort of enema comment... hey, if you give me something, I'll run with it.

MEANWHILE, as this one somewhat sexual plotline is developing, the main plotline is about two best friends, one of whom is still in love with his ex, Carol, and the other of whom is having sex with Carol. So they decided to make me Carol. OK. But when our two plotlines came together, the three guys in the scene with me spent pretty much the whole time naming sexual positions and moves they'd tried with my character (including "space docking"--look it up, it's gross). I stayed in character and was playing along, but I was really uncomfortable the whole time. I'm perfectly happy to "go blue" if I'm playing a sexually empowered character, but I felt a little like I was being subjected to improv-bukkake.

I'm a talented improvisor. I can be so much more than a mother or a whore. Maybe it's my own fault; maybe I allowed the scenes to go the way they did. I should have stood up in the middle of the crazy sex position scene and asserted myself. But it all left me thinking that those guys don't see me as an equal. Or maybe they think I'm a good improvisor, but they mostly see female characters in relation to the male characters, and not as protagonists in their own right. Meh.

Apparently, the only exchanges my groupmates have had with women have involved either coming in or coming out of a vagina.

A Prime Year

I turned 23 on Saturday! I know, I'm a young'un.







As I embark on my 24th year of life, I think it's time to set some goals.

• Write a sketch show and/or play. (Lisa B. is helping me accomplish this goal! Hurrah!)



• Write in this blog at least twice a week. (I know, I'm stepping it up from my previously stated goal!)



• Start a podcast. (I got one cookin' with another Chi-friend, but we have yet to record anything.)



• Cook dinner at least once a week.



• Bring my lunch to work at least three days a week.



• Be more active! Srsly, I've been much too sedentary of late. I think I want to quit my gym (which is expensive I never go) and start taking dance classes (which I would really enjoy).



• Save money. I'm thinking of starting an online, high-interest, FDIC-insured savings account. Gotta figure that out. Also, I have an account on Quicken Online. I should use it more. OR maybe I'll try out Mint and see which one I like better for money management(they're both free). ALSO, for you Google nerds, there's a way to track spending using GMail and Google Docs (found that on Lifehacker). (I got a little link-happy in that bullet point.)



• Finish all the crochet projects I've started! I've been working on one blanket for over a year now. It's ridiculous.



• Keep learning how to be a grown-up.



• Go on adventures!

Hrm. This is all I can think of for now. I'll add more later, I'm sure.

Historic Moment

We have a new President.

I have mixed feelings. Not about Obama--I am ecstatic to have him as my President! Elated. Inspired. At times, on the verge of tears (happy ones). But I'm worried about how people are behaving. Today we celebrate the future. Don't use today as an excuse to get one last, "Eff you, Bush!" in there. People booing Bush? Not cool. He's leaving now. Let it go. You can disagree with him, sure, but don't kick a guy when he's down. He knows he's unpopular. Just let him go.

Also, does anyone else think it's tacky to wear an Obama hat at Obama's inauguration? What is this, a Cubs game? Okay, now I'm just being judgmental.

Anndd I'm stopping with the negativity. I wrote a whole bunch more stuff about the hypocrisy of being compassionate toward everyone except conservatives, but, you know, I don't want to post that today. Maybe I won't ever post it. To paraphrase Obama: it's time to be positive. It's time to get to work making the world better. So I'll stop complaining.

Hurrah hurrah, Inauguration Day!

Wo Rex

Walking home last night, I saw a man shoveling the sidewalk and stopped to talk to him.

"Hey," I said. "Is it your dog that I always see out here?"
"It's my father's dog," he said.
"Oh, well, it's a really friendly dog. I always pet it when I walk by."
"Thanks. My father can't really take him out for walks, so he just lets him out. We try to come by and walk him when we can. My father's 95."
"Oh... Anyway, it's a really nice dog."

I could've left it at that, and I almost did. But halfway down the block, I turned around and jogged back to the man.

"If you want, I could come by and walk the dog sometime."

And that lead to an exchanging of phone numbers and names (the man's name is Wo, the dog's name is Rex, thus he's saved in my phone as "Wo Rex") and stories. He learned I'm an improvisor and informed me that he, too, is a performer. A musician. And both his daughters are musical theater geeks (he didn't say geeks, but I took it that way... I think geek is a very high compliment).

It was a Chicago moment.

I sometimes wonder if I annoy people with my talkativeness. Usually, I think strangers like it when I talk to them. For example: this morning, squeezing out of the train, instead of grunting, "Coming out," like most people do, I said, "Excuse me, I'm getting out here. I'm just going to squeeze by. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!" Maybe it was over-kill. It probably was. But people were smiling at me, and I think I heard a titter from one of the people I went by. I feel awkward just shoving people without saying anything. Plus, people need a little cheer on a bitter cold morning like this. Moods are contagious: why not be happy?

OK, it may be a tad narcissistic to assume that I have that much of an effect on people's moods. Even if I only made one person just a little happier, I feel pretty good about that. Talk to strangers, people! It's fun.

And here we go.

Inspired by Ms. Lisa B. (she's a very inspiring person), I am getting started with another blog doohickie. I hereby publicly resolve to post at least once weekly! Take THAT, habit-of-starting-things-and-never-finishing-them!

Speaking of... I have a coupla blankets and scarves to crochet.