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How I wasted an hour at work...

I was reading blogs at work--you know, like I do--and I came across this somewhat offensive, certainly odd, article (via Pandagon, via my friend Yvon's "Shared Items" on Google Reader). After reading the comments, I felt the need to throw in my two cents (or, as it turned out, four numbered items).

I'm a little proud of what I wrote, so I've copied it below. It's probably more entertaining if you read the original article by Jules Crittenden first.

Several things…

1) The morality of neutrality is a moot point if you’re trying to argue that Sweden was not really neutral. Or were you trying to say that there’s no such thing as neutrality, just cowardice? In that case, why does it matter which country Jessica Alba said? Perhaps you’re trying to insinuate that Alba supports Nazis with her “ball bearings”? I’m just not quite sure what you’re going for here.

2) According to Mary Stella:

“Obviously, some are trying facts, Truth, and history; to trump, liberal feelings, their exceptionalism or entitlement to be always right without ever bothering to read a historical book, considering at times failing to finish highschool.”

Questionable punctuation, spelling, and syntax aside, I find the argument that either liberals or conservatives are uneducated or ignorant to be silly. There are very intelligent people on each side. There are high school dropouts in the ranks of both Republicans and Democrats. To anyone trying to make a political or social argument: “You’re stupid!” is not a strong rebuttal. Therefore, I would like to apologize if I sounded snide when mentioning punctuation, spelling, and syntax. I’m sure Mary was just in a hurry.

3) I fail to see how Alba’s possible blunder in saying “Sweden” instead of “Switzerland” has any bearing on whether Bill O’Reilly is an “a-hole.” He IS an a-hole. Regardless of whether you agree with his views, he’s extremely rude to the guests on his show. Also, let’s not forget the “F**k it, we’ll do it live!” ridiculousness.

4) You say: “Girl should stick to doing what she does best.” Really? You don’t like smart girls? But then you say: “Hot and smart like that … what a package.” Huh. I guess only liberal women should keep their mouths shut and look pretty. I’m sure you know this already, but… that’s just not going to happen.

Pedantically (but with good intentions),
MC

I realized there at the end how condescending the whole thing must sound, but I thought, "Aw, screw it. I'll just add a self-deprecating sign-off line to make it all better."

READER POLL: Does a self-deprecating sign-off make a pedantic commenter seem like less of an a-hole?

I fully expect both my readers to reply.

Really, guys?

Frustrating experience: At rehearsal last night, I was the only girl there. OK, that's fine with me; I'm used to it.

Things started to get weird during the montage. My scene partners kept making me their mom. I don't mind playing a mom every once in a while, but it felt like every other scene, no matter how I initiated, the other person would come back with, "But MOM..."

I thought it was weird, but not horrible. I didn't really like playing the mom all the time, but I thought maybe it was some sort of coincidence, or maybe a mind-burp on the part of my scene partners. Still feelin' OK. THEN...

We went to practice the new form we're creating, in which each player plays one and only one character the whole time. My scenes were about a romantic relationship between two people imprisoned in the back of a Chinese restaurant. Fine. The second scene, my cohort initiates with something like, "Look, I'm sorry, I hadn't had sex in a long time." OK, I'll go with it. I had already introduced a flirtatious nature to the relationship, and he was just taking it to the next level. Besides, what else are two people stuck in the back of a Chinese restaurant going to do? I won't say I'm not complicit in the sexualization of that scene. I do believe I made some sort of enema comment... hey, if you give me something, I'll run with it.

MEANWHILE, as this one somewhat sexual plotline is developing, the main plotline is about two best friends, one of whom is still in love with his ex, Carol, and the other of whom is having sex with Carol. So they decided to make me Carol. OK. But when our two plotlines came together, the three guys in the scene with me spent pretty much the whole time naming sexual positions and moves they'd tried with my character (including "space docking"--look it up, it's gross). I stayed in character and was playing along, but I was really uncomfortable the whole time. I'm perfectly happy to "go blue" if I'm playing a sexually empowered character, but I felt a little like I was being subjected to improv-bukkake.

I'm a talented improvisor. I can be so much more than a mother or a whore. Maybe it's my own fault; maybe I allowed the scenes to go the way they did. I should have stood up in the middle of the crazy sex position scene and asserted myself. But it all left me thinking that those guys don't see me as an equal. Or maybe they think I'm a good improvisor, but they mostly see female characters in relation to the male characters, and not as protagonists in their own right. Meh.

Apparently, the only exchanges my groupmates have had with women have involved either coming in or coming out of a vagina.

A Prime Year

I turned 23 on Saturday! I know, I'm a young'un.







As I embark on my 24th year of life, I think it's time to set some goals.

• Write a sketch show and/or play. (Lisa B. is helping me accomplish this goal! Hurrah!)



• Write in this blog at least twice a week. (I know, I'm stepping it up from my previously stated goal!)



• Start a podcast. (I got one cookin' with another Chi-friend, but we have yet to record anything.)



• Cook dinner at least once a week.



• Bring my lunch to work at least three days a week.



• Be more active! Srsly, I've been much too sedentary of late. I think I want to quit my gym (which is expensive I never go) and start taking dance classes (which I would really enjoy).



• Save money. I'm thinking of starting an online, high-interest, FDIC-insured savings account. Gotta figure that out. Also, I have an account on Quicken Online. I should use it more. OR maybe I'll try out Mint and see which one I like better for money management(they're both free). ALSO, for you Google nerds, there's a way to track spending using GMail and Google Docs (found that on Lifehacker). (I got a little link-happy in that bullet point.)



• Finish all the crochet projects I've started! I've been working on one blanket for over a year now. It's ridiculous.



• Keep learning how to be a grown-up.



• Go on adventures!

Hrm. This is all I can think of for now. I'll add more later, I'm sure.

Historic Moment

We have a new President.

I have mixed feelings. Not about Obama--I am ecstatic to have him as my President! Elated. Inspired. At times, on the verge of tears (happy ones). But I'm worried about how people are behaving. Today we celebrate the future. Don't use today as an excuse to get one last, "Eff you, Bush!" in there. People booing Bush? Not cool. He's leaving now. Let it go. You can disagree with him, sure, but don't kick a guy when he's down. He knows he's unpopular. Just let him go.

Also, does anyone else think it's tacky to wear an Obama hat at Obama's inauguration? What is this, a Cubs game? Okay, now I'm just being judgmental.

Anndd I'm stopping with the negativity. I wrote a whole bunch more stuff about the hypocrisy of being compassionate toward everyone except conservatives, but, you know, I don't want to post that today. Maybe I won't ever post it. To paraphrase Obama: it's time to be positive. It's time to get to work making the world better. So I'll stop complaining.

Hurrah hurrah, Inauguration Day!

Wo Rex

Walking home last night, I saw a man shoveling the sidewalk and stopped to talk to him.

"Hey," I said. "Is it your dog that I always see out here?"
"It's my father's dog," he said.
"Oh, well, it's a really friendly dog. I always pet it when I walk by."
"Thanks. My father can't really take him out for walks, so he just lets him out. We try to come by and walk him when we can. My father's 95."
"Oh... Anyway, it's a really nice dog."

I could've left it at that, and I almost did. But halfway down the block, I turned around and jogged back to the man.

"If you want, I could come by and walk the dog sometime."

And that lead to an exchanging of phone numbers and names (the man's name is Wo, the dog's name is Rex, thus he's saved in my phone as "Wo Rex") and stories. He learned I'm an improvisor and informed me that he, too, is a performer. A musician. And both his daughters are musical theater geeks (he didn't say geeks, but I took it that way... I think geek is a very high compliment).

It was a Chicago moment.

I sometimes wonder if I annoy people with my talkativeness. Usually, I think strangers like it when I talk to them. For example: this morning, squeezing out of the train, instead of grunting, "Coming out," like most people do, I said, "Excuse me, I'm getting out here. I'm just going to squeeze by. Thanks so much! Have a nice day!" Maybe it was over-kill. It probably was. But people were smiling at me, and I think I heard a titter from one of the people I went by. I feel awkward just shoving people without saying anything. Plus, people need a little cheer on a bitter cold morning like this. Moods are contagious: why not be happy?

OK, it may be a tad narcissistic to assume that I have that much of an effect on people's moods. Even if I only made one person just a little happier, I feel pretty good about that. Talk to strangers, people! It's fun.

And here we go.

Inspired by Ms. Lisa B. (she's a very inspiring person), I am getting started with another blog doohickie. I hereby publicly resolve to post at least once weekly! Take THAT, habit-of-starting-things-and-never-finishing-them!

Speaking of... I have a coupla blankets and scarves to crochet.